“Like Waves in the Ocean”

Grief can hit us when we least expect it, leaving us feeling overwhelmed, disoriented, and battered. Some have described this experience of grief and loss as feeling like the waves of the ocean are crashing waves over them.

I remember feeling something similar as a young teen when on vacation, and I would go out early in the morning to surf the waves near Wildwood, NJ.  I loved the exhilaration and feeling of being in sync with the rolling waves, a sense that life was complete and exciting, and I was at one with the mighty sea.  However, due to my inexperience, such confidence was often short-lived when a rough wave I hadn’t seen would hit, pulling me under, gasping for breath, and shattering my confidence and replacing it with disorientation, fear, and panic. Instead of feeling in sync with the rhythm of the ocean, I was ultimately out of control. 

As difficult as it was, I wanted to return and try again. Yet, I was so bruised at times that I needed to rest on the beach for a while or even overnight before trying again. That was an essential part of my learning to surf the waves: that it didn’t always work out my way and that sometimes resting was the best next step. This is a crucial lesson in the grief journey: taking time to rest and recover is not a sign of weakness but a necessary part of the process.

When grief overwhelms you, try to ride the waves if you can, but if you can’t, when a rough wave hits, knocking you over, remember that you can sit this one out and take a time out before paddling back out there.  With determination, intentionality, and moments of holding your breath, this loss’s intensity may often pass or at least be softened. So, hold on, stay resilient, and know that eventually, you may find yourself back in sync with the rhythm of the ocean because of your effort and hard work.

As a Certified Advanced Grief Counseling Specialist (CAGCS)and Clinical Trauma Professional Level 2 (CCTP-II) I have invested myself in evidence-based counseling strategies that can help struggling clients find solace and perhaps meaning after a loss. I am committed to walking with you through the sting of death and hope you will join those like yourself who come searching for safe passage through this thing called grief.

For more information, please call me at 610-217-1070 or email me at WArnold@aol.com.

“Grief requires us to be on a journey. After a loss, unless we walk through the Valley of Shadows, we shall fear the darkness and the uncertainties that can surround and overwhelm us.” _{Bill Arnold}